just anoter day...

Have you ever tried to hold on to a cube of ice for long? Do you know what happens? (ya.. apart from it melting..)

Well it leaves your palm feeling numb..

Numb is described as (among other synonyms) “unfeeling”... weird isn’t it, that a “feeling” is described as “lack of feeling”

I feel like I have been hugged by a giant snowman… and once the initial chill passed away I was just left feeling… numb… ya I guess that’s the closest that I’ll ever get to describing the feeling of being empty or hollow…

It’s as if you have been robbed of the ability of feeling anything.

When I was young I had once broken my arm and I had to been given anesthesia before it could be straightened out. Just before passing out, I remember looking at my arm, I knew it was paining but I couldn’t feel anything..

It’s very close to that, just that when I couldn’t feel my arm it left me feeling relieved, but right now it is this feeling of numbness that is hurting the most.

It’s weird, how it I find it difficult to use my own bag of words to describe my own feelings..

So much for my attempt to be positive… but yes I have always believed it to be better to face your feelings than delude yourself in trying to see the positive side of things and moving on..

It like when you get hurt, if you haven’t felt the pain in its completeness and try moving on ignoring it, it always returns to hurt even more..

The one thing that I have always tired is to be true to myself, except now, when I often find myself lying to me..

I really want to be myself again…