Live in today.. that seems to be the mantra of sure shot happiness… I for one, though not disagreeing with the success rate of the formula, haven’t been an avid follower of the philosophy.
I strongly believe, that today is a meaningless series of breathing in and breathing out, and a word that truly describes it would be “survive” rather than “live”. Live I feel is a much deeper word, a word that personifies and not just means “LIFE”.
But this thought was mainly based on my need for things to have “meanings” (that’s the stuff you don’t find in Govinda movies). I was ok, being a little sad, but I wanted to understand it… Similarly if I am happy I want to experience it not just "be" happy.. because “being” happy can happen without a yesterday or a tomorrow. But in order to truly understand and hence experience the happiness there has to be a past no matter how dark and a tomorrow no matter how uncertain.
I am happy for those who have mastered the art of living for the moment, but I don’t envy them. In fact sometimes feel sorry for them.. For they miss the memories of yesterday and the promises of tomorrow.
I find the cost of living with a past, looking for a tomorrow..i.e at times being sad, to be very reasonable…
Any way there are times, when even if you live in today, things can get very bad (I should know). I am sacred of my todays, and am apprehensive of my tomorrow. The thing that keeps me going these days, is the past. Yes it is the past that, stops me from waving the white flag (not sure who am fighting though).
I used to feel the fight is against life, but then that’s logically impossible, because life is the superset and am just a subset of it. Or rather life is the battle field.. you fight your battles in battle not against the battle field right???
But then is it a series of fights punctuated with defeats and triumphs? or is it just a journey, whose current stretch is a little bumpy… or maybe it is a journey and one too many of the people I love are getting off in the next station.. Some with whom I might have another journey( the hope is what, helps me to keep being a traveller), others with whom this is my last journey.
Not sure, sometimes even a thorough understanding of the problem does not harvest into a solution, it just leaves you with a feeling of helplessness.
Anyway coming back to the topic of the yesterday, today, tomorrow… I just realized that right now it is not just the past that is keeping me going. Nor is the tomorrow, for my today will surely leave me with a tainted tomorrow.. it is in fact the something that people don’t often talk about.. it is the “day after tomorrow”.. in fact with out a day after tomorrow, it would be very difficult, for whilst people wait " for things to get better with time" for it with time things will only get worse.. i.e without the day after tomorrow...
Yes for me the light at the end of the tunnel is being held by the person called day after tomorrow..
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